Any time is brownie time!

Things are looking up this week. I tried on my spring and summer clothes a few weeks ago and discovered that most of them did not fit! I did go and purchase some Capri pants in my current size, so I had something to wear. But after three weeks of no binging, eating consciously, and getting 2-3 episodes of 10-minutes of low-intensity walking almost every day, I can now zip up my favourite shorts. Yippee!

This past weekend was a long weekend and we had lots of fun with the kids. We were not at home much so we ate a lot of take-out. Pizza for dinner on Friday, MacDonald’s for lunch on Saturday, and so on. But that’s OK, because food is food. I ate. I enjoyed. I did not overeat or binge. And I didn’t beat myself up. As Ellyn Satter recommends, I will trust my body to “make up for these mistakes in eating” – although maybe calling them “mistakes” is not the best term to use since it conjures up guilt for me.

Some foods are more nutritious, they contain more fibre, they are richer in vitamins and phytochemicals, they provide important minerals, they have protein for building and maintaining our bodies, and carbohydrates for energy and brain fuel – but they are not “good” or “bad.” They are just food. Take-out, fast-food, whatever you call it, it is food, and it can be convenient and enjoyable, if not the most nutritious.

On Victoria Day Monday we took our son and daughter, and three other girls, to the Tulip Festival for “circus school” and, to our surprise, midway rides. Carnival fare was consumed at various points throughout the day: cotton candy, candy apples, popsicles, popcorn, hotdogs, and – only at carnivals in Ottawa – Beavertails (No Tallie, they are not real beavers’ tails, I was just pulling-your-leg). I managed to eat when I needed to, and kept my energy up for 6 hours of hangin’ with the kids. I drank lots of water and had a hotdog for lunch. And later in the afternoon, when I could tell that I needed more fuel for both my brain (to keep track of five kids under nine), and my body (to endure standing in one line after another), I had an ice cream drumstick – and it was gooooood. It was a Crispy Crunch drumstick (which just happens to be one of my favourite varieties of chocolate bars), so it had that peanut flavour, combined with chocolate, and ice cream, and it was cold, and it felt gooooood to enjoy. And then we came home for pizza, yet again; but this time, homemade.

Last night my husband and kids were dropping me off at the college where I teach an evening course and because we were running late they were heading to McDonald’s for grill cheese and the Play Structure. I surprised myself when I actually decided I did not want to feel that heavy greasy food in my stomach while I was teaching and I opted for a toasted cinnamon-raisin bagel with margarine, and apples slices with slices of cheddar cheese. When I got home I was hungry and had a glass of juice and a bowl of party mix. But there was a very large bag of two-bite brownies in the cupboard, purchased two days ago, and it wasn’t calling to me. I am telling myself: I can have them if I want them. They are there if I want them. There will be more tomorrow if I want them.

A few years ago my aunt from California came to visit. We offered sherbet with two-bite brownies for dessert – brownies piled on a plate, and brought to the dining room table by our then 4-year-old twins. My aunt asked me how many brownies I was going to let the kids have. I said “Wait and see.” Each of the kids had one brownie, not necessarily in two-bites, and then a second brownie. And in the middle of the second brownie they both put their brownies down on their plates and asked to be excused, they wanted to go play. They each left half a two-bite brownie on their plate! I doubt that I have ever left half a brownie on a plate, or in the bag, whether it’s two-bites or ten, until this week.

Why can my kids do this? Because we follow Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility: the parent is responsible for the what, when, and where of feeding, and the child is responsible for the how much and whether of eating. That means trusting children to decide how much and whether to eat. Children need to know that they can come to the table hungry, eat what they want and how much they want, eat until they are satisfied, and then stop. They will find a stopping point. They also need to know that there will be another meal or snack in a few hours. Brownies are just food, a particularly enjoyable food, but still just food. They are not forbidden, given as rewards, or earned by eating some other yucky thing like spinach. There will be brownies again, if not today, another day. So I am learning to do for myself what I do for my children. "Forbidden" foods like brownies will not be so enticing when I know I can have them anytime.